Saturday, September 22

Discouraged




I initially wanted to blog abt my weekend but something happened when I got back home just now and I am extremely depressed and discouraged now.

I can handle it well when life throws at u difficult situations one by one. However, real life is not like this but many problems can come at you altogether at ard the same time (or accumulate over time!).

I have been telling myself that I love what I studied and believe that I can do well in my field if given the chance. But right up till now since I came back from studies, I have not been given a chance to prove myself, sadly but realistically, I feel that I am judged on my one big failure and it seems to pretty much condemned me to a sad state I am in now. It's been nine months and I am nowhere closer to working in the industry I have passion for now than I am before my postgrad studies.
Doubt is so insidious. It really eats you up inside if u feed it. I try and I tried so hard to encourage myself, telling myself to cheer up and look on the bright side. but i see none. Well, there was more light at the beginning but that has slowly dimmed into almost darkness.

Should I go on and keep striving towards being a dietitian in a nursing home, keep believing that health promotion is my calling? or just give it up and just do something that pays? anything.
Isn't that's what many are doing? Not many are chasing their dreams. Many are just stuck in the doldrum of just working and carrying out their responsibility to earn and support the family at the expense of their dreams and ideals. After all, can dreams or ideals feed you?